try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
