thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
