I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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