it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize