Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
