I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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