I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize