You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
