brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
