smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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