I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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