Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
