I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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