big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
