so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
