i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
