Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
