I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
