My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
