well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
