he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
