There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
