if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize