Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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