So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
