yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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