On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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