I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
