Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
