I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
