On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
