dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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