I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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