I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
