"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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