I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize