Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize