Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
