Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
