I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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