do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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