Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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