from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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