I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
