I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
