I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
