Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
