My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
