I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
