Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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