I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
