Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I looked at my own cervix.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
