honey bunches of taint.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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