I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
