So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
