oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
