ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
