Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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