Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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