I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
