I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
