just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
