I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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