Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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