How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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