no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
